Thursday, July 17, 2008

Today is a happy day. I had a lab practical last night that was just giving me fits in terms of my stress level. I was convinced I knew nothing, nothing at all, not one thing. But I got some time to review during the day and to take some self-quizes online that give a grade immediately. I knew more than I realized and I started to feel a little more optimistic. By the time review with my classmates was over just prior to the practical I was really ready to get it out of the way. My instructor is very generous and gives us a word bank from which to choose our helps, but by no means makes it a shoe-in. If you are at all confused about placement or function, particularly in the brain, you are just plain screwed, word bank or not. Plus there are 48 entries on the word bank and you only get 90 seconds for each two question station. So basically, if you don't have at least some idea what you are looking at and trying to identify you won't have enough time to ponder over the word bank and figure it out. Its a very stressful format for testing, at least for someone like me. But I am gratified to say, as I sat down and started scanning the word bank just prior to beginning, I was relaying definitions in my head for each word on the list that I came to. The practical went more smoothly than I had dared to hope. I am getting better about silencing the voice of panic and listening to my inner knowledge. I got five wrong, got a three point extra credit question right and in essence then only missed two. I got an A. I am ecstatic...can you feel it? It warms me all the way through and through. I was so proud to come home and tell Joe.

Tomorrow night we have a party to go to. There will be people there we know but likely more people that we don't. Not my nor Joe's most ideal social situation, but we are trying to be more adventurous and less home-body-ish. Not that there is anything wrong with being homebodies. I just am not good at talking to strangers. I have no idea what to say and small talk has never been my forte. In fact, if its not particularly meaningful, I have the tendency to say nothing, which doesn't exactly lend itself to a night of merry-making. I will have to stretch myself and be brave. I have no idea what it is I am afraid of when I get socially shy. I used to be far more outgoing, but since becoming an adult my social abilities have most definitely taken a hit. I need more practice.

I feel such relief today to have gotten through this week. The exam Monday with the lab practical on Wednesday was consuming my every thought, to the point that I have no idea what to think about now that it is over. The idea of the exams come to mind and then I get giddy realizing its all over and I did pretty good. I got an 87 on the lecture exam and a 90something on this lab practical. Next quiz is Monday night, next exam a week from Monday. I just have "normal" studying to do this weekend, not insane studying. I feel like flying!

I have signed up for A&P II in the fall. I managed to get it on a day/time schedule where I can go back to belly dancing again, which I am excited about. That was my weekly girl time and I feel a little lost without it. I don't kid myself that I am any kind of a dancer, but I enjoy the mental images it can bring forth of myself and I love hanging out drinking wine with the girls one night a week.

People are starting to notice my weight loss. I personally do not see it at all. I am trying out HIIT, High Intensity Interval Training. It is supposedly a fantastic way to burn fat when combined with weight lifting. It certainly left me sweaty this morning.

I want to write and write and write and I both have no ideas of what to say right now and I have no time. So this is it for now. Maybe more later, another day, somewhere far off. Maybe I will find something poignent or intelligent to say. Maybe I will find an idea for a novel or a short story or something besides all this mundane reporting on the life of one very ordinary woman. I am amazed any of you still read here and I don't mean that in a self-depricating way. More just...nobody is sick. Nobody is out of work. Nothing terrible or exciting or interesting is happening. That car-wreck that was my life not so long ago has been cleaned up and the streets are bare, dry and smooth, the sun on my skin and my head tipped to the wind. I can't imagine anyone being entertained by this, but I am glad if you are on some level. Makes me feel important and God knows that is one of my favoritest of favorite feelings. :D

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