Sunday, September 23, 2007

So far so fabulous

Things are going extremely well at the new job. The Cooper Clinic is a fantastic place to work. Not only are the benefits and little perks extremely enjoyable, most of the people there have been there for a very long time. The person newest to my department next to me has been there eight years. And everyone there seems to be happy to be there. People smile at one another and greet one another, even with waves across the parking lot. The focus is very much on fitness and health. The grounds are beautiful. And my new doctor that I am typing for is not only superb in dictation skills and disposition but he is a kind hearted and good looking man. I liked my coworkers, feel like they like me and I feel very optimistic about this change.

Joseph has come to me on and off through this transition. I have been less depressed and more just missing him...a change in emotional shading that is hard to characterize. It does not feel desperate, just deep and abiding. Stepping away from the world where I was while he was sick has been a very good thing. In the times that I am more happy, I see him with more clarity and feel him closer to me. I think perhaps the desperation of grief makes us blind from our tears. I feel very quiet...not depressed or as if I might be going mad...just soft within myself, waiting to see where the world is headed. I am more aware of what and how much I am eating. My moods have been more stable.

I turn 37 on Wednesday. Joe is taking me back to Lawry's for dinner, where we went last year. I am really looking forward to that. It was a warm, bright spot during a very bleak time. Mom took me shopping yesterday for my birthday and got me some clothes I can wear to work, which I love. Joe and I are toying with taking a cruise between Thanksgiving and Christmas to help me have something to look forward to during that time of dark anniversaries and I think that would probably be a good idea. They have three and four days cruises out of Galveston for pretty reasonable prices.

Nick is off camping this weekend and Alex is here with us. Joe took him out for ice cream last night while I was out shopping with my Mom. We are finishing up some of the odds and ends of projects we have going on before delving into the countertops etc. Joe got the fixtures up in the guest bath and the plumbing issues straightened out. I got new towels for in there yesterday. I will post pictures as soon as I find the right artwork for the walls.