Saturday, April 11, 2009

Eeew! A bug!

So I am doing my usual thing, up early, before anyone else, where I can enjoy my thoughts and activities in solitude, without interruption and without having to give any attention at all to anyone else. I love this time of day. One of my favorite parts is making the coffee for Joe and I. Its a tender thing, a sweetly submissive gesture of love and caring that I make most every day, but on weekends I get to enjoy it. I get to enjoy what it means to me, I get to enjoy the smell of it brewing. I get to enjoy knowing he is snug and safe in our bed and will awaken to the rich scent. I even enjoy the heaving hiss of the coffeemaker as it struggles to crank out our daily dose of legalized addictive stimulant.

So this morning is no different. The windows are all open...it is damp and cool and going to be a nice, somewhat cool day with highs in the 60s. The birds are all aflutter and everything is beginning to put on its spring finery. Foliage greens are so crisp at this time of year. I have been doing some research for a homework project on a very rare syndrome and coming up frustrated as I try to find enough information on it to equal a four to five page report. So I give myself a break and get up to make the coffee. I love opening the coffee container, the smoky scent of the grounds, the slight crunch of the spoon as it digs into the depths and pulls out small mountains of fragrance and the promise of warmth.

As it brews, I go back to my studying, punctuated by visits to social sites like Facebook and MySpace...guilty little vices that are harmless until they get in the way of things I really ought to be doing. When the coffee is done, I am ready. I procur my cup and the creamer from the fridge. I go to the coffee pot, already anticipating that first warm cup that I will now get to enjoy in guilt-free solitude.

And there, staring me in the face, right at the very top of the water indicator line of the coffee machine, INSIDE the machine....is a bug. GACK!! There's a bug in my coffee machine! I lean forward and study this offending entity. What's he doing there? He's a big one too....what is he? A beetle? A roach? There has been far more bugs this spring so far than I am used to dealing with in the house, but this has just gone too far now. I tap the glass and God help me, it moves. GACK!! How did it survive the brewing process? And now what do I do?? I can't DRINK this! It percolated in bugginess! And how do I get the damn thing OUT of my coffee pot? A vinegar pot won't kill it or remove it. Bleach will kill it but not remove it. I want coffee but I am NOT drinking from that pot. What do I do?

So I go back to the living room, empty cupped and unfulfilled, distressed. No coffee. And a coffee pot with a bug in it. That means no coffee tomorrow either unles the offender should choose to leave. Because as a certified bug-o-phobe, that sucker is not getting a confrontation from me. There is only one way to deal with bugs...avoid, avoid, avoid. Besides, since he's in the water indicator, I cannot possibly get him out unless I take something like a pipe cleaner and squish him up in there, which will do me no good at all. Then I have a SQUISHED bug in my coffee maker. GACK!! There's nothing to be done for it. Joe will have to take me out for coffee when he gets up and we'll have to buy a new coffee brewer. Bug 1: Sheri 0. Never say I'm not a gracious loser.

1 comment:

karengberger said...

I love the "GACK!" Never heard that one. Good thing that coffeemakers are easy to replace.