Saturday, July 31, 2010

To Everything Turn, Turn, Turn

My poor Joe isn't feeling well. He has caught a virus and sniffles and snuffles something fierce. At 5:30 this morning was ready for some more ibuprofen. I was awake anyway, so I brought it to him with some juice and tucked him in good, then wandered down here for some precious solitude. I really do love my alone time, which always feels a tad selfish when I think about it. I don't know why I treasure so much being by myself. I think it is because I am always thinking thinking thinking and I really enjoy my thoughts. I am constantly writing and composing in my head and sometimes the activity of the world interrupts that to a degree that is actually imbalancing for me. It is one of the reasons I really enjoy going on my long, long walks. I can turn on my headphones and just think my way around a 4.5 mile course. Which in turn meets a lot of needs in me - solitude, exercise, a continuous thought pattern, sun exposure, a sense of accomplishment. Interestingly, this has nothing at all to do with a desire to not see or be with my family. I love that too and I am loving them constantly. It is just something in my nature, to enjoy silence and peaceful co-existance without a constant need to entertain.

I was reading back this morning over my entries from August 2007. My goodness, how far I have come! It is funny, when you are the one living it, its just life. There is no sense of progression really. Its just on and on we go. Its one of the best reasons I have found for keeping a blog. I can look back and have measurable progress. Here I am, about to start my second semester of nursing school and a happier person. Joe and I are now married (yay!), the boys are in high school and middle school respectively. We have a new home (but have been in it a year already. Can you believe that?). Life is good.

We took a five day trip to Nebraska last week to attend the wedding of my cousin, TJ. He is the youngest of my aunt June, whom I have always been close to. I love my family. I really, really do. The wedding was so fun. Nick and Alex absolutely cracked me up. They were dancing maniacs! Most boys their age are so afraid of looking uncool - not my kids. They danced and danced and danced and when the slow songs came, they took turns coming to get me to dance with them. By the end of the evening, they were spinning me 'round and looking smugly pleased with themselves. I had a new black BCBG dress that had an awesome swingy skirt and I felt gorgeous in it and my strappy sandals, so it was a fun evening to dance the night away to every song. It pays to have so many uncles and male cousins and a truly adoring husband as well as attentive, appreciative sons. I don't have any pictures of the dress or really even of the evening. I was too busy dancing to take any! I'd love to have posted them here. Nick is super tall now and Alex is headed that way.

I have to admit, I would love to move back to Nebraska. It isn't going to happen - the boys let me know in no uncertain terms how they would feel about it, and Mom and Stewart are here in Dallas. But a girl can dream. Omaha is so green and lush, with hills and contour to the land. Every house looks different, unlike here with the cookie cutter neighborhoods. Eh, the neighborhoods here are pretty I guess - all brick homes and people really keep up their landscaping. I just miss the contour to the land, the greenness and having four distinct seasons. This time of year in Dallas is just miserable. Too hot to be outside for month upon month - we have to huddle indoors and pray for relief and pay the power bill. I don't know how the settlers did it before there was air conditioning. I bet everyone was super cranky all the time.

School starts for me on August 23 and we have exams the first week of class. I have started studying (finally) and am looking forward to seeing my classmates again. I am so glad I took a position at the hospital over the summer. It has kept my confidence level fresh. I am turning 40 on September 26th and I am going to have an 80s party here at the house (most likely) to celebrate. I need to get busy planning that and send out save the dates. I am stupidly not happy about turning 40. I am not ready to get old...and looking back on August of 2007, I am actually kind of pleased to feel that way.

1 comment:

Karen said...

The title of your post is perfect. It just keeps moving, doesn't it--life, I mean. It's best to move with it and a sign of healing, too. Blessings on you as you walk and write your way through it all.